5 steps to soothe anxiety
1.Accept that anxiety is here.
What we resist persists.
Often when we feel anxious we try to get rid of that anxiety, we wish anxiety wasn’t there. We view it as if something was wrong with us, because ‘we should be happy’, ‘we should always maintain a positive mindset’, ‘being anxious is not how life should be’, ‘I must be doing something wrong’ or even, ‘there is something wrong with me’.
This thinking only causes more anxiety. Often people get anxious about being anxious.
Can you relate? I certainly do.
When we accept that anxiety is here, then it is purely the anxiety that we have to deal with and not all that other anxiety-provoking thinking. When we accept anxiety, when we stop wishing for things to be different to what they are right now, the body starts relaxing. There is nothing ‘wrong’ with us anymore, there is just anxiety as a current experience.
Suffering = pain * resistance
Try it out! Allow anxiety to be here, because it is already here. You will see how your body starts releasing some tension.
2. Feel into it.
Identify where you can feel anxiety in your body, allow yourself to feel it for a moment. This will help your body process the emotion.
You can rest in the knowledge that it won’t hurt like this forever and if it gets too much, you can always rest in your breathing instead.
Your body knows how to feel and process emotions. Trust in the wisdom of your body.
Just as your lungs are designed to breathe and your heart is designed to beat. Your nervous system is designed to process emotions, but when we avoid our feelings, we only prevent it from doing so.
3. Offer love and support to that part of your body that hurts.
Often, we create an enemy of anxiety. We might think ‘If only you were not here, I would be healthy, OK, or happy’.
Anxiety is a part of us that lives in our body right now, so if we wish it away it would only be rejecting that part of ourselves and hurt more.
So, instead of creating an enemy, we try befriending it, giving it a helping hand. You can try saying, ‘I am here with you’, ‘I love you’, ‘everything is ok’, ‘I’ve got you’. Notice how your body responds to this words and gestures of kindness. It immediately soothes and relaxes. This is our natural response to love.
Befriending your anxiety is befriending yourself.
Try offering support to yourself, like you would if your best friend was suffering.
You can try placing a helping, loving hand on that area of your body that hurts.
4. Move
Emotions are energy, and sometimes the energy can get trapped in our body. Our shoulders can hold a lot of tension, or our chest might be holding some pain or anxiety.
We can help our bodies process emotion through moving.
When anxiety is high your nervous system is activated, and what it needs is to relax and calm down.
I suggest moving gently through a yoga practice. Yoga is the intimate connection with our breath, and body. Breathing and moving as one seamless process helps your mind settle in your heart and allows you to participate in the peace that is natural to your body, mind and heart.
5. Set boundaries
The sensations of anxiety might persist for a while, and they might also be hard to bear.
When you feel like it is too much, take a break from it.
Healthily distract yourself, do something you love or something that is fun and makes you laugh.
You can choose to play, dance, sing, listen to your favourite song, read a book, go for a walk, go out with friends, take a bath, watch a movie you love, or rest in your breath.
When you feel like you have recharged and feel strong enough to be with your anxiety again then you can come back to feeling.
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This process is not an instant and permanent fix, but it is a practice of befriending anxiety, of learning to take care of ourselves, so that when anxiety arrives, we know how to approach, process and soothe it.
Just as we sometimes feel angry, sad, or happy, we also at times might feel anxious. While there is no magic cure, we can learn to relate to anxiety in a kinder, healthier way and rest in the wisdom of our body.
If you are ever struggling to manage it, get in touch <3
With love,
Mariana